![]() ![]() “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” Prince Phillipġ9. "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me." - Winston Churchillġ8. “When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” - Molly McGee Famous Funny Quotes About Marriageġ7. “She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fireġ6. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singhġ5. "Before we got married I caught her in my arms. “My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.” - Lee Judgeġ4. ![]() ![]() If I let go, she shops.” - Henry Youngmanġ3. “My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” - Henry Youngmanġ2. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” - Jack Bennyġ1. “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse." - Henry Youngmanġ0. Joyce Brothers Funny Marriage Quotes About Wivesĩ. "My husband and I have never considered divorce.murder sometimes, but never divorce." - Dr. “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” - Bill MaherĨ. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”- Janet Periatħ. And some mornings I just let him sleep." - AnonymousĦ. “Marry a man your own age as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” - Phyllis Dillerĥ. “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy GarnerĤ. “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” - Tim Allenģ. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest perhaps they're too old to do it." - Ann BancroftĢ. Cute & Funny Marriage Quotes For NewlywedsĦ4 Funniest Quotes About Marriage Funny Marriage Quotes About Husbandsġ.These funny quotations about marriage are short and snappy - in fact, we reckon there's even space for a funny quote about marriage or a funny marriage advice quote on table names or save the dates - it's totally up to you! To make things easier, we've gathered the funniest marriage quotes for you to include, plus expert speech writing tips from Marc on how to weave them into your wedding speech. While that may sound like a tall order, we promise it's nowhere near as hard as you think. What's more, getting a laugh under your belt at the top of your speech is the ultimate confident booster!" says Marc. ![]() "A speech with a handful of laughs will seem much shorter than one without - good gags will leave the guests wanting more not looking at their watches. It will also help with comic timing and keeping your guests engaged. How many of the lines can you actually remember? Surprisingly tough isn't it? However, I bet you'll recall whether it made you laugh out loud or not."Īdding humour to your speech will help to strike that magic balance between sweet and sentimental, funny and endearing - whether you're part of the happy couple or the wedding party! Marc Blakewill from wedding speech writing service All Write On The Night points out: "Think about a memorable speech from a wedding you've attended. It's why we reckon it's always a good idea to throw some funny marriage quotes into the mix. Don't get us wrong, we love a romantic quote about love and marriage but sometimes too much of the sweet stuff can get a little soppy. ![]()
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